This is just one story of many from my recent journey across the Americas to Chile.  About a month and a half ago I felt God saying to me that He wanted to stretch my heart for the nations.  I simply just said, “Sweet God!  Let’s do it!” and didn’t think much more about it.  A few weeks later I felt God was urging me to go to Chile with a friend of mine who has a ministry that partners with foreign missionaries and church planters offering whatever kind of help they need.  I tried to push it out of my mind because, quite honestly, I did not have the time or the money to take such a trip without planning or notice.  For the next week I went to bed with Chile on my mind and woke up with it on my heart.  I finally mentioned something to my wife about it and asked her to pray with me about whether I needed to go on this trip; if it was just me I didn’t want any piece of it, but if it was God I wanted to be obedient.  A few days later, she said, “Kyle, I gotta talk to you about something.”  In my head, I thought, “Oh no, what did I do?”  Then she totally surprised me and said, “You are suppose to go to Chile.”  I knew it was true, I knew it was God.  So I tapped into our savings (don’t tell Dave Ramsey), bought a plane ticket, packed my bags, and left two weeks later.

The country itself is absolutely gorgeous, with the Andes Mountains standing proudly to the East, their summits still heavily capped with winter snow, and the endless bliss that is the Pacific to the West.  It is very chilly there (pun totally intended), and the food is overwhelmingly exquisite with juicy steak, cooked-to-perfection potatoes, and boiled, seasoned clams and shellfish being some of the main dishes.  I was super stoked to find that some of the finest coffee I’ve ever had was served at every one of the four meals a day.  More beautiful than anything else were the people.  Their hunger for God was apparent as soon as I engaged in attempting conversation, they with their broken English and me in a less-than-poor adventure in speaking Spanish.  We had a team made up of my friend, a Chilean missionary, a few translators, a husband and wife who lead worship, and me.  We traveled from the very Southern-most city that is reachable by vehicle called Puerto Montt, to the nation’s capital city, Santiago, within the 10 days I was there, totaling over 650 miles.  Every evening we preached at a different church in different cities and brought the message of the faithfulness and provision of God.  After the message we prayed and ministered to whoever needed or wanted prayer.  I have never seen the power of God fall so strongly on a gathering in my life.

I’ll share one example of what God was doing throughout the week.  We were at a church where many people came down to receive prayer after the message.  We begin to pray for many of the people as God lead us and God began to move in the most powerful ways.  As my translator relayed the things I was speaking, God began to speak to me more specifically and with more detail than ever in my life.  I prayed for healing over a woman and watched her physically change.  I prayed for healing over another woman and as I did my chest started burning with intense pain, which I initially assumed was caused by the mysterious shellfish/clam thing I ate the night before.  As the pain increased, I wasn’t sure what was wrong so I jumped out on a limb and asked her if something was wrong in the middle of her chest.  She exclaimed that she had had an operation in that exact spot two months ago and that it didn’t heal right and something was still wrong inside of her; it caused her much pain.  I prayed for God to immediately heal her and as I did I felt the burning sensation go away and apparently she did too as she began to weep and cry out, “Gracias, Señor!”  She said the pain was gone and that God had healed her.  God is absolutely amazing!

I prayed over many more people for all kinds of different things and God continued to do miraculous things.  One of the most incredible experiences happened late in the week as the service we were at was almost over.  I had been praying for some people in the back of the room and was walking back up to the front.  I past a young guy of probably 16 or 17 years old whom I noticed earlier in the evening.  I knew earlier that I needed to pray for him and I kept waiting and waiting for him to come forward but he never did.  As I past him, I called Francisco, my translator, to come over to him with me, and I said to the kid, “Can I pray for you?”  He nodded slightly and I said, almost without thinking, “You knew you were suppose to come up earlier for prayer but you didn’t.”  He looked down at the ground and nodded again.  I told him that it was okay and that God wanted to move inside of him.  I put my hand on his forehead and it was as if I immediately knew the core of who this kid was: his deepest insecurities, his internal thoughts, his secrets that he had never told anyone before.  I began to speak the things that were going through my mind.  I began to explain with uncanny detail the hurt and pain that he held inside of his heart and how he hid this all internally, shielding it from his friends and family.  I revealed the outburst of rebellion within him and the sinful things he had been doing over the past year or so.  I told him about his dysfunctional relationship with his dad and how he absolutely could not stand to be around his father.  I knew it was because his father had emotionally and verbally abused him growing up and that he felt no love from his dad at all.  I said that I saw him shutting the door to his room at night, pretending everything was alright, and then weeping in his brokenness and depression in his bed, crying himself into slumber.  This was scary territory for me to be trudging through and I finally asked him if all of this was true.  He finally looked up from the spot on the floor that he had stared a hole through and peered deep into my eyes, trying his hardest to hold back the tears.  He nodded his head and said that every word I spoke was exactly right; it was all true.  I then said something that I knew was the reason I was praying for him, “You hate God because you hate your dad.  You think God is a father like your father.  I am here to tell you that God is not like your father.  He loves you more than anyone on this whole earth, from Chile to Texas, ever could.  He is not mad at you.  He doesn’t want to throw you in hell.  He is madly in love with you and wants to know you, and He wants you to know Him.”  At this, the boy broke down.  The coldness rushed from his eyes in the form of ever-swelling tears holding the emotions of years and years of loneliness and brokenness.  With streams forming vertically down his desperate face, I began to tell him the miraculous Gospel of Jesus, and his gaze never broke mine.  I explained,” Jesus took all of your sin, all of your loneliness, all of your emptiness, and all of your brokenness to the cross where He died the most gruesome and horrific death in the history of the world.  He went into the grave taking with Him all of your junk.  Three days later He arose from the dead, the only person in history to have victory over death, and in the pit of the tomb He left all of your sin and brokenness.  He is alive today.  He wants to give you life.  He is here now and wants to bring you life –real life, abundant and full life, joyful life where He is your Lord and your Lover.”  I told him that Jesus is real and that the reason I knew all the stuff about him was because His Spirit was in me, speaking to me, and leading me as I spoke and prayed over him.  ”Jesus has given me life, He has rescued me from death, He has rescued me from my brokenness and pain, He has saved me from the mess I got myself into.  Do you want Him to do the same for you?”  With the puddle of tears on the tiles below growing larger, he said, “Yes, I want Jesus!”  I lead him to the Lord, telling him to pray to God and ask Him to forgive him, ask Him to save him, ask Him to live in him, and ask Him to grant him life.  As the boy prayed, I watched the Spirit of God fall on him, moving deep inside his heart and restoring life and hope and love within the almost forgotten depths of this kid’s soul.  I was a spectator of the amazing grace of God rushing over a wretched man, as the Creator of the universe stole back what was rightfully His to begin with–the life of this teenage boy.  God did many incredible things during this journey and it was an awesome blessing to join Him in His work.  I pray that this testimony of His grace and truth and Spirit and power would fall deep upon your heart, bringing encouragement and refreshment to your spirit.  May God bless you as you seek Him and as we are obedient to the things He calls us to do, may He bring light and grace and truth and life to the ends of the earth.

picr2ctungsten16

Several months ago, I went fishing for the first time in a long while.

This was mostly because the guys I work with are outdoor enthusiasts, much like myself, however, they lean more toward the fishing/hunting aisles at Academy whereas I roam the camping/kayaking/outdoor sections.  I enjoy doing most anything outside and have recently picked up hunting as a hobby, partly to join in the badgering of my co-workers and partly for the experimentation of a new sport.  The talk of hunting in our office is probably on the top 5 Frequently Talked About topics and so I couldn’t help but loading up and jumping on the old bandwagon.

Fishing is up there too, but not anywhere close to hunting.  Something happened a few months back that boosted fishing in the rankings.  I never really paid attention to the conversations on the matter because fishing to me is… well its boring.

Maybe this is due to my memories as a kid making a fishing pole out of a long stick, rolling up Frosted Flakes mixed with Big Red into little pieces as bait, and hiking back to the little tank behind my grandparents house in the country.  The construction of this rod was pristine, as I had whittled the bark bare with my trusty Swiss Army (thanks Mac), carving a loophole in the end, and even using duck tape for the grip. As I put my homemade bait on the rusty hook at the end of the line I thought to myself, “This is gonna be great.  I’m going to catch the big one!”  For the next hour I stared with intent at the mocking red and white bobber, ready to yank the heck out of the rod the moment it went under.   Either all of the fish in the pond were brilliant and knew this was some sort of trick, or possibly they all could not stand the taste or smell of Big Red Frosted Flakes, or God forgot to put fish in this tank where fish should naturally be.  At the end of that hour I found myself thinking, “The best part of fishing is building the pole.  Maybe I could go back and make another rod….”

Nonetheless, fishing has never really been my thing. So when the guys at the office started rambling on about there fishing adventures, I never really paid much attention.  This changed, however, with the addition of one adjective.

Kayak fishing!

This culmination of two completely separate activities, one of which I absolutely loved and the other that I hated with equal enthusiasm, somehow struck a melodious chord in my outdoorsy soul.  I thought that this was something that I needed to try.  I could handle fishing with the guys as long as it was coupled with paddling out on my kayak and the sound of waves breaking out on the banks.

And a strange thing began to happen at the office.  Kayaks began to show up everywhere.  I was being asked what kinds of kayaks were good?  Which ones sucked?  Which ones could track well?  Which ones had good storage capacities?  Kayaking jumped to the top of FTA list in a matter of days, and I loved it.  By the end of the week, our whole staff had kayaks in the backs of their trucks and had made plans to kayak fish within the week.

One day, I decided to go out with them and give this newfound sport a try.

I packed my kayaking gear in the back of my Xterra, threw the boats on top, and headed for the lake.  One of the guys I worked with lent me a rod and reel because, naturally, I did not own one.  We met at the lake and unloaded our massive boatloads of gear.  As we put in and began to paddle to the far cove, I found myself so far enjoying kayak fishing.  We spread out in the cove and began casting.  A few of the guys had several lines dropped in the water and their rods were in custom rod holders attached to their boats.  This impressed me as I fumbled around with the one rod I had, trying to figure out how to make the little worm look real as I violently shoved the hook through its fake head.  After making sure the weight was at the end of the line, the hook was properly attached, and the “real-looking” fake worm was in place, I began to cast it out and finally sort of got the hang of the motion.  I began a contest with myself to see how far out I could cast the hook.  After thirty minutes or so, and not even a nibble, we paddled to the next cove hoping more ambitiously hungry fish were ahead.  To no avail, the fish remained full and refused to take the bait.  At one point I thought I had one when I was reeling it in and my pole started to bend.  I pulled and reeled as your suppose to (at least on Wii fishing), and my kayak began to move towards the fish.  In my head I thought that it was the big one from back in the day that I always planned on catching, but as I moved closer I realized that my big fish was really a big branch right under the surface of the water that my hook was caught on.  That remained to be the most excitement I had all day.  We paddled back in and despite not catching a thing I actually had fun kayak fishing.

A few weeks after that adventure, I was at a prayer gathering with a few others and God was really speaking to us and drawing us closer to him.  I was praying for a friend of mine who has a ministry that reaches out to several communities across Central America and God began to speak clearly to me what to pray for him.  God was pressing on me to pray for my friends “burden,” which sort of confused me.  I kept saying to God, “No Lord, you say that your burden is light and your yoke is easy.  How can I pray for you to increase his burden?  It just does not make sense.”  Then God began to assure me that this burden was not a bad thing, although it was both necessary and heavy.

And then almost immediately, God took me back to that memory of fumbling around with the fishing lure.  He highlighted in my mind the weight at the end of the line, and I suddenly realized what God was saying to me for my friend.  The weight is necessary to catch fish and without it the hook is completely useless.  It has nothing to make it sink.  For my friend, God was showing me that Christ is the bait and the hook and the reason to fish in the first place.  But there has to be weight on the end of the line to make the hook sink.  What the Spirit was teaching me was that God sometimes allows our hearts to be burdened, to be heavy, and to feel weighty for the sake of the Gospel.  It is not burdensome.  It is certainly not condemning.  And it is not to load us down with worry, regret, anxiety, or whatever else.  Jesus does say, “My yoke is easy and my burden is light.”1 But I believe God does let us feel pain for other people.  He allows us to be touched and moved by the broken hearted.  He gives us hearts to feel pity and mercy for other people. And he allows us, in a sense, to be burdened in order to bare each other’s burdens.  He gives us the heart, or the weight on our heart, we need in order to go out and cast our line and fish for the sake of the Gospel.

As I told my friend what God was showing me, he shook his head in agreement and was deeply moved by what God was saying to him.  He was affirmed in his calling and encouraged in his spirit.

What is God putting on your heart?  What areas is he weighting, not weighing, you down in order for you to cast your line in HIS name?


1 Matthew 11:30.

Gemma

It’s funny how when I hold the love of my life in my hands, I feel so insecure.  I have this incredible beautiful (well.. that’s really an understatement) little girl in my care, in my hands, and it is my job to protect her, raise her, and love her.  I remember the first time I laid eyes on her.  She was absolutely breath taking.  I could not control my emotions.  And when I got to hold her in my hands for the first time, an inconceivable combustion of emotion happened within my being: anxiety, joy, wonder, worry, pride, happiness, nervousness, curiosity, compassion, overwhelming love.  I remember looking down at her all wrapped and swaddled in her newborn garb as love spilled out of her into me and vise versa.  I began to sing to her… “I love you so much, I love you so much, I cant even tell you how much I love you…”  The words came out in a broken jumble of sniffles and hacks because I was balling like… well, like my baby.  She wasn’t crying at all.  She was looking up at me (probably thinking, “Oh man, daddy can’t sing very good,”) with irresistible eyes as I held her so tightly, partly because I wanted to be as close to her as I could get and partly due to fear of braking her.  That moment is forever cemented in my mind.

I cant help but to think that this is the way God is with me.  That when he holds me, he sees me exactly how I am as a wave of emotion sweeps over him.  Love spills out of him overflowing into me as I embrace his arms.  And he looks at me and sings, “I love you so much, I love you so much, I cant even tell you how much I love you…”

cap

Gah, I love these dogs.  Its funny how different they are.  Captain is so loyal to me.  He waits by the door until I get home.  He cant contain his excitement when I take him outside to play with him.  Bauer is funny.  He is very independent.  He sorta just does what he wants, which is a joke that Jade and I say all the time.  “I’m Bauer the super dog, I DO WHAT I WANT…”  When I woke up this morning he had already been swimming.  He launches into the water and can swim faster than I can back paddle.  Captain hates the water.  I’m pretty sure this is due to a traumatic experience he had when he was about Bauer’s age (20 weeks) when I took him kayaking with me.  He was feeling overconfident, I guess, as he put his front paws over the rim of the boat, and then dove in the Llano headfirst against his will.  After rescuing him, I got him back in the boat and got back to shore.  He’s never really liked the water since.  Bauer makes up for it.  He loves the water.  He cant wait to jump in.  I want to be willing to go wherever it is that God calls me.  I want to dive in to the waters he has for me.  I hope and pray that I will take the jump.

Bowwow

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All Things New

They're his people, he's their God. He'll wipe every tear from their eyes. Death is gone for good—tears gone, crying gone, pain gone—all the first order of things gone. The Enthroned continued, "Look! I'm making everything new. Write it all down—each word dependable and accurate." [Rev.21v5]

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